‘Good morning, I’m the interpreter for the meeting.”

“Great! Your client’s here!” the receptionist points to a gentleman waiting. I introduce myself to my new client. We’re quickly greeted by an attorney and sit in an office. I explain how I will interpret and the meeting begins. While I work , I stare down at my notebook writing notes, forcing them to speak to each other. I am there to be heard, not seen.  Well… that’s the idea.

The second question tells me this is a consultation for citizenship change. The attorney and the client speak back and forth as I interpret.  The client repeats ‘’ when she does that’’ while pointing towards me but I pretend I didn’t notice… until the attorney says: “Don’t translate this.”

I look at him.

Smiling, he states: “This question is for you; explain something, OK?” I agree.  He asks:

-”Are YOU going to be his WIFE?”

“I’m trying to figure out what ‘s going on too.” I say as serenely as possible.

He continues smiling: “Just say I’m offering you a job so he doesn’t think anything else.  I am .”

I do just that, fake an apology for the side conversation, we continue. The questions change to police-like interview to see if the same answer comes out …or not…The meeting moves on, the client signs forms, pays the attorney US$3000 cash and puts away the rest of a huge wad of money…

I start to think if this meeting is illegal somewhere….

We finish and the attorney tells me he will contact me later. “I mean it!” he smiles again.

Out in the hallway the client pays me and suddenly asks: ["So, would you do it?"]

I am puzzled.  ["Do WHAT?"]

He smugs: [" Marry me."]

["I don't KNOW you!"]

He’s amazingly arrogant: ["You DO know me."]

[“Then you don’t know ME. Very flattering but I must leave. Good day."]

I walk away pretending calmness. The elevator doors close; I ‘m FLAMING mad. “WHAT AN IDIOT!!! How dare HIM! Making my job a JOKE!!!” I’m getting in my car, the cell rings.

The attorney!  “I’m really interested in hiring you.”  We talk about my resume and wait for my online information to download. He suddenly asks:

-”Did he say anything after you left?” he’s smiling.

I know where this is heading… “He did sir.”

-“May I ask what?”

I almost start laughing. “He asked me to marry him.”

Typical tactful lawyer he says: “Oh. You’ll be my new employee (pauses)… Or my new client?”

I burst out laughing! “I’ll be your new contract worker!” I hear him laughing too.

-”I can tell you’ve been translating awhile but didn’t look like you were going along. You know him well?”"

“No sir, we met today. I’m not his type anyway!” still laughing.

-”Why?”

“We don’t speak the same language.”

-”But your Spanish is excellent!, I cannot speak it but I can understa…”

“Sir,

he speaks marriage.

I speak single.”

Samiris Ortiz is a freelance Language Service Provider based in Atlanta, Georgia (USA). She is currently in talks to write a biography featuring the Atlanta music scene in the early 60′s. It fits her well since she listens to music as long as she is awake…

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